


Job Descriptions

by StaceyDawe



Category: God Friended Me (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Once Upon a Time (TV), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Humor, Humorous list, Lists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-03-05 15:42:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18831658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StaceyDawe/pseuds/StaceyDawe
Summary: Humourous descriptions of jobs of some fictional characters





	1. Sheriff of Storybrooke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huumourous description of Emma Swan's job

Sheriff of Storybrooke

Patrol the town, maintain the local jail, keep order, and try to protect the town from being destroyed or taken over by various magical beings. Simple enough. 

Responsibilities

Record keeping  
Apprehending lawbreakers and keeping them in jail  
Sending the really bad ones to the psych ward  
Responding to disturbances  
Figuring out what villains’ goals are and how to defeat them  
Fighting off the occasional rampaging monster (eg, snow monster, giant spider)  
Dealing with Mr. Gold, who is sometimes your ally and sometimes your enemy  
Be on the lookout for magical people in disguise  
Learn magic so you can better combat magical villains  
Keeping the town’s unusual features a secret from the outside world  
Trying to convince villains to become good people  
Finding out how to break curses  
Helping people find happy endings

Qualifications

No formal education or training necessary  
It’s even okay if you’re a former crook  
Experience finding people/ catching bad guys  
Being able to tell when someone is lying is an asset  
Willingness to face constant danger  
Magical abilities  
Must be at least 28 years old

Personal Qualities

Courage  
Honesty  
Compassion, even for villains  
Forgiving nature  
Authoritativeness  
Humour  
Drive to help others  
Hope


	2. Captain Of The Enterprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A humorous description of Captain James T. Kirk's job

Captain of the USS Enterprise

Journey through space, seek out new life, command the ship's crew, and meander out of crazy unexpected situations

Responsibilities

Make decisions that affect the lives of everyone on board the ship  
Give commands to the crew  
Maintain order and discipline aboard the ship  
Decide where the ship goes and when  
Run errands for Starfleet, such as transporting ambassadors  
Spend working hours on the bridge and be on call the rest of the time  
Make quick decisions in the face of uncertainty  
Decide when to beam down to planets and who goes with you  
Pay lip service to the "prime directive" of non-interference but actually go around toppling dystopias and "fixing" societies that you think have major issues  
When in danger, fight and flirt your way out of it  
Always put the needs of your crew before your own  
Keep peace between First Officer Spock and Doctor McCoy  
Record your adventures in a mission log; include philosophical morals you learned

Qualifications

Graduate of Starfleet Academy  
Excellent service record in Starfleet  
The more awards and achievements, the better  
Totally fine if you cheated on the Kobayashi Maru  
Willingness to face constant danger

Personal Qualities

Quick thinking  
Courageous  
Creative  
Charismatic  
Authoritative  
Strong moral fibre


	3. Spiderman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A humorous description of the job of Spiderman in the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Spiderman

Protect the neighbourhood from crime, and the world from destruction

Responsibilities

Learn to utilize technology made by Tony Stark to assist in your superhero ways, spend time familiarizing yourself with your suit's features  
Patrol the neighbourhood and help apprehend criminals  
Promote good causes  
Be available to be called upon to fight bigger, world-threatening, villains  
DO NOT GHOST NICK FURY  
In the event of a catastrophe, help get people to safety  
Use your superpowers, combined with Stark technology, to fight villains and generally help people  
Assist other superheroes in fighting villains  
Be responsible with Stark's technology, keep it out of the wrong hands, especially in the event of Stark's death  
Avoid misusing Stark's technology (ie, please don't use it to kill classmates)

Qualifications

Have spider-like superpowers given to you by a bite from a radioactive spider  
Be a high school student  
Be competent with Stark technology  
Excellent Physical Health

Personal Qualities

Highly intelligent  
Responsible  
Adaptable  
Agile  
Caring  
Heroic  
Courageous


	4. Do-Gooder for The God Account

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A humorous description of what Miles Finer does

Do-Gooder for the God Account

Exciting, unpaid, job where you get to meet new people and make the world a better place

Responsibilities

Follow the Facebook account belonging to "God"  
Introduce yourself to the people the God Account sends you as friend suggestions  
Find out what your friend suggestions problems or needs are, even if you have to basically stalk them and question their friends and family, and help them  
This help may include helping them reconnect with people, find jobs, save their homes, discover long-held secrets, resolve family conflicts, and countless other things they may need  
Follow up on every move the God Account makes (ie visiting places it likes) because there is always a reason for it, probably to help you find out how it wants you to help your friend suggestions  
You and your friends can try to find out who you're actually working for, but we advise you that you won't have much luck there

 

Qualifications

Have a Facebook account  
Reside in New York City  
Have a job that gives you enough free time to do this one too, and doesn't conflict with "God"s needs  
Be able to socialize and build connections within the community  
Belief in God NOT required  
No formal training needed

Personal Qualities

Compassion and drive to help others  
Charisma and good social skills  
Intuition  
Resourcefulness  
Wisdom  
Loyalty to friends  
Emotional and Interpersonal intelligence


End file.
